The Black Semester Ends.

FYI this is a re-post. The original post is being deleted by Blogger a week ago unknowingly and resurfaced mysteriously. So this is not a real-time post. It reflects my feeling a week ago when the semester break started. And this mishaps of Blogger had even added my misfortunes for the last semester. 

Last semester (January 2011) is another black one . Misfortune keep surface one after another; I lost many precious things. My right shoulder was dislocated, and makes me not fit to swim FOREVER. The damage of the tendon in the arms could never heal. Therefore I can't even go to the gym. Well, then I may just turn my fitness program to jogging. But who knew I sprained my knee, and now can't jog anymore! DThen how should I keep fit? I dont know. I just feel kinda pissed. Depressed. Helpless. =\ And I have to cancel all my plans for many runs and marathon events which I gonna take part in this few coming months. Damn sad...coz I had anticipated so much for participating in all these runs/triathlon/swimming events etc. And now all my dreams vanished into thin air. Its like Osama got hit by the bom. Gone....

Not only my body had suffered  lost. many of my "properties" lost as well. My car window got smashed (RM110) + (RM100 sunscreen) and I lost my favorite waterproof bag (RM5). The burglar took it away with all my expensive sun lotion, shampoos and stuff(RM100++). =(. My car bonnet was leaking too and haven't get it fixed. Then my laptop also went kinda crazy. Keep on BSOD-ing anytime anywhere . And the WORSE thing is it keep bluescreen-ing during my finals and never able to start at all. How I gonna study? Luckily I had did some of my revision early enough. Then my sport sling bag (RM46) koyak, my luggage zip broken, laptop bag (RM78) also got its zip broken!! WTF! I lost 4 bags in 1 semester! Not to forget that my printer also malfunctioned and couldn't fix yet though I had spent RM20 to repair it. Oh yea my handphone (Rm410) also died early in the semester  and I downgraded it into a nokia N-series. Argh what a damn BLACK semester!

"All Izz Well!!". I prayed that everything goes well for the next semester (which is now). I real hope my shoulder and knee would recover soon so that I can go back to active again. SIGH~~~

When Fruits Talks

Here are the 9 jokes which I could think of for the moment, all abouts fruits. Hope you guys has a good laugh. =D Sooner I might draw some funny comics strips if I have more inspiration.


#1
Durian: Hey hairy, how are you?
Rambutan: Shutup. At least imma not horny.


#2
Eggs: W'sup mate, why're you so hairy?
Kiwi: U idiot. Imma not from a chicken's ass.


#3
Orange: Hey friend, why are you laughing?
Apple: Coz durian claimed that he'd made Newton discovered gravity! And he even claimed that he's the one that stuck in Adam's throat...


#4
Banana: Hahaha u looks like an ass! And when u're dry u looks like a nut sack!
Prune: You look worse!!


#5
Papaya: hey who is that dude?
Banana: I have no idea, mate.
Umbrella: Did I even looks like one of you guys????


#6
Apple: Wanna go for horror movie?
Orange: Which movie dude?
Apple: Iron Chef Episode III. They gonna make apple pie and orange juice.


#7
Tomato: I love you! Would you marry me?
Apple: Sorry we can't be together. Coz you're a damn vege!


#8
peanut: Anyone has the nuts to challenge me??
Coconut: Here I come~~


#9
Potato: Can you please don't took off your shirt simply?
Banana: What's the matter? It's hot out there.
Potato: My uncle fell down and turned into smashed potato.

 DISCLAIMERS: None of the above are copy-righted and are mostly of my own inspiration. 

These are of non-educative purposes and therefore might be a piece of crap to nerds who might not have a sense of humour. If they pollute your nerdy mind please don't memorize them. Any mishap is regrettable.

In A Complicated Relationship...=\

During a Chinese wedding dinner Ah Hock ask his 3 years old son Meng to greet and address all the elderlies. Its a common practice among the Chinese to greet each others to show politeness. And here Meng goes one by one:

"AhGong, AhPuo, DaShu, ErShu, ShanGu, SanShuMu, XiaoGu, XiaoShu, SanGuZhang, XiaoGu, XiaoGuZhang, BiaoShu, BiaoErShu, TangShu, TangShuMu, DaYima, ErYima, XiaoShuGong, etc.." 

Did you see a rainbow? Because the chinese are colourful. Pity little Meng. Okay. Now lets twist the situation a lil. Everything remains the same except that we change all the characters into English people. Ah Hock becomes John and Meng becomes Little John. He greets all the elderlies too one by one and here he goes:

"Grandpa, Grandma, uncle, uncle, aunt, aunt, aunt, uncle, uncle, aunt, uncle, uncle, uncle  uncle  aunt, aunt, aunt, uncle, etc.."

AND I really can't deny that Chinese has a real complicated relationships. Lets get an example. Who is TangShuMu? She is your father's father's grandpa's brother's wife. And who is ErYima? To be frank, I also can't remeber......too.

I FINISHed my exam!! (Punch-worthy article!!) =P

Yeah my exam has already finish!!! And how should I showoff announce it to my friend who are still having their paper until the next week?? hiak hiak. Lets try a few of this *evil grin*:

""Shhhhhhh.....lemme tell you a little secret.....MY EXAM IS OVER!!!!"

 -OR-

"Haiz...why is my exam over TOO soon.WHY? Its boring you know..."

 -OR-

"Hey, wanna ask you, did I just finished my exam??" *sohai face* =3"

Which statement would earn me more punches/slaps? xD
Hope you have a good laugh after reading this and at the same time, dun whack me. Hope I do help you to release some good stress. Good luck peeps! All da best and may God bless. =)

Anyway I am going home tomorrow. And I real miss my family. Cant wait any longer! >.<

Old Words New Meanings, Only in UTP!!!

When you live in UTP, these words has different meanings.
Hope you guys would  enjoy ;D

pekchek
–adjective  The feeling when any sensible beings see this word "Proxy Error" for more than 5 times for a day.


angry 
–adjective  Have the same meaning as PekChek.


insanity 
–Verb  A medical condition when you are Pekchek or angry for more than 5 times. Common symptoms includes nausea, high body temperature and pressure, and bloods vomiting.


anemia 
–Noun  Deficiency of red blood cells due to frequent insanity. Could be treated with blessings, miracle or impossible at all.


blessing
–Noun  (1)When Google page is loaded in front of your eye. (2)When your cellphone have a bar of DG coverage in V5.


miracle 
–Noun  (1) A situation when you can surf the web smoothly without being disconnected. (2)The moment you picked up your DG operator phone in V5. (3) The unlikely and amazing situation when no cats are seen.


impossible
–adjective  The word used to describe the situation when you stop swearing UTP internet LAN.


lucky
–adjective  The feeling when your friends can't online while you can.


happy
–adjective  Having the same meaning as Lucky.

breakfast

–noun  You could have it for lunch Paprika, but it has to be English.

Top 9 UTP Scenarios (FUNNY)

CASE #1 - The internet
Son: Daddy daddy, why Google cant load?
Dad: Welcome to UTP!!!
Son: ....

CASE #2 (on a phone to company)
Student: Hello sir, good morning we are from UTP we have some...
Sir: What Could I sponsor you?
Student: ....

CASE #3 (Couple on a phone)
Girl: Hey darling! Do you still remember its my birthday tommorow?
Boy: Meow meow meow meow meow...
Girl: can you please get out of UTP when u wanna talk to me??
Boy: Meow meow meow...

CASE #4 (when gf wanna call her bf)
Girl: *dial number*
Boy's Phone: "The number u call is unavailable. Please ask your boy fren to get the hell out of V5 and dial again later. Thank you."

CASE #5 (new UTP intake)
Freshie: Sir where is Pocket D?
PakGuard: Next to Pocket C lah...

CASE #6(during class)
Lecturer: Whats the answer I asked you guys to Google yesterday?
Student: Unable to connect to the proxy server
Lecturer: .....

CASE #7 (Facebook Comment dialog in UTP)
A: Wow tats a great photo of yours!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
A: Whats wrong with you?
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
A: Are you KIDDING me?
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
A: Can you SHUT THE FUCK UP??
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!
B: Thanks!

CASE #8 (student coming back from V2 cafe n toilet)
A: Ghee, you smell like a burger.
B: Yeah. It's Ramli's.
C: *back from toilet*
A & B: Ouh mann, you smell like SHIT.
C: Yeah. I hope it's not Ramli's.

CASE #9 (2 UTP boys talking)
Malat A: My sister is coming to UTP next week.

Malat B: Wow didnt know your sister....

Malat A: Ouh, she is beautiful. And this her Facebook. Correct me if im wrong.
Malat B: .....

DISCLAIMER: All these had been inspired purely out of the super slow internet connection, pathetic phone signals and others funny issue in UTP. There is no intention to insult a particular group of people, or the university itself. Solely for amusement. 

HAIZ...hate this year.

Today...

I cant finish my assignment...

Its 10 more minutes away to deadline,

I have to rush all the way to block13 to hand in;

to my horror, my bike was GONE!

Angry and worried at the same time,

I borrowed my room mate's motorbike...

just to hand in my assignment IN TIME.

An hour later,

I met the bastard who steal my bike,

when I was driving off the campus.

I horned at him.

HORNED again. Damn him.

He stopped.

I didn't flame him, just ask him to return my bike.

Luckily he did. Else I would send him back to Africa.

BUT---

the worse part is yet to come...

I lost my room mate's motorbike's key!

gosh. GOSH.

So nervous and worried,

helpless.

Lucky which ever guy who so happened to found the key,

actually uses the motor,

Its moved to other places;

but he LEFT his motor key as well in the basket of my roomie's motor.

NOOB.

The case is reported to the security dept..

pray tat everything will go good.

Bad things comes like domino, one after another. Its exactly like what happen in Japan recently, a 9.0 scaled earthquake had triggered a huge Tsunami that swept 6km inland, and the Tsunami had triggered the nuke crisis by shutting down all its cooling system. Things comes one after another, and causing further crisis which are more horrifying. Its like nuclear chain reactions.

Nokia 1280

People are going crazy for I-Phones, BlackBerries or any other super-phone which is not like phone at all. But I am way different. I never crave for luxuries items, and therefore these phones had never came across my mind. What I need is a basic phone which can SMS/CALL. Therefore my phone keep on reducing, from Sony K-Series to Nokia 1280.

Now that I am quiet contented with my new phone for several EXTREME(s):

-Extremely Cheap RM83 (anti-theft and rob)

-Extremely durable (4days battery)

-Extremely easy to use (no lagging, simple interface)

-Extremely SMASHABLE (can whack dog)

But a few drawbacks, for being NOT...

-NOT Showoff-able (not stylish, not high tech)

-NOT exam-friendly (no camera so cannot snap notes to be referred in toilet)

-NOT fun (lousy games)

-NOT "in" (no GPRS, 3G, 4G, KLCC, ABCDE....)

I am indeed a very practical person. I only buy things that I need. Now that I has a new camera so I do not need a phone which has camera anymore. Bye bye SE K series. I has Lumix for the job dy. hehe. Way nicer and professorial. I think I'll only need a Blackberry, I Phones, PDA, or wateva it is when I am working. As a student there isn't such need at all. Unless I has a gf(s) or wife/wives which needs to MMS/Video calling with. But eh, my laptop has a web cam too. haha...